August 02, 2007

jeremy lavine: genius essay on el niño

this is another manifestation of children genius, it's an assay written for school by a kid named jeremy lavine, other than his name and the masterpieces he made, nothing is known about this child, below are text & graphic versions of his paper on phenomenon el niño.

the passages I highlited are amusing, because the ideas in them are repeated several times, seems, for jeremy, they hold the most important messages of his article.

Coming in like El Niño

El Niño is spanish. It is the spanish word for child. Like all things spanish, it is dangerous. It kills people and burns down trees. This child is more than a child. It really isn't a child at all. It is a storm. A deadly storm that kills people and burns down trees.

Warm water usually builds up around australia to somewhre else, namely to other places. Where are these places? These are places that also have water, but water that is usually not as warm water El Niño moves to these said other places. These other places are to the east. Of the water.

In Peru, they have many names for many things. One of the things they have names for is for people who go fishing, go fishing to make a living. If we had a word for this kind of people that word would be "fisherman". But we don't. In Peru, they have different names for things than we do in America. They call that kind of people "pescadores". That's Spanish. That's what they speak in Peru. When El Niño comes, these "pescadores" can't catch any fish. El Niño is caused when the Peruvian gods get angry. They have been angry for millions of years and have made El Niño for millions of years. Many many moons ago, the Peruvians committed human sacrifice to satiate their gods and end the flood that was caused by El Niño. In today's modern dog-eat-dog work-a-day world of scientists, diplomats, McSalad Shakers, and George Bush Jr., we no longer have access to such solutions. We are too proud. We will not commit human sacrifices. We refuse to satiate the Peruvian gods. Thus, they remain angry and keep killing us and burning down our trees with El Niño.

Instead of satiating the gods, many of these "scientists" have tried to control El Niño with "science". They put up expensive fish-attracting-bueys that run on flashlight batteries. Imagine, fighting the power of the gods with flashlight batteries! Needless to say, this didn't work and everyone died.

the graphic version below contains the teacher's view, she (I don't know why I'm sure she's a woman) particularly liked the passage about "dangerous spanish things", the mark she gave jeremy was 10 out of 100, personally I don't agree with that, but geniuses are often misunderstood, you know ...
click to enlarge

talking about the genius of kids, here's another proof of it: give half a proverb to a child, watch the result ....